


Ignorance is Bliss

by 19lilacdemetrius97



Series: BabyBatCult [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Bruce is a good dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 17:02:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17811941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/19lilacdemetrius97/pseuds/19lilacdemetrius97
Summary: Dick takes his little siblings to the park. Bruce is concerned.





	Ignorance is Bliss

The house was quiet.

This was suspicious. Bruce didn’t like this. He had five kids in this house. It is a little past midday and Bruce just finished doing his paperwork for the day and silence is a bad sign.

Bruce made his way through the house, unsure how to feel. Maybe the kids were getting along-no abort that thought. If the five of them ever got along with each other Bruce was sure the world would end. It was all Bruce could do to prevent Tim, Cass and Damian from taking over the world because they were bored. If Jason and Dick decided to help Bruce wasn’t sure he could stop them.

Bruce was banking on the fact that Dick and Jason did not get along under most circumstances.

He peeked his head into the theatre and frowned when he found it empty. He searched the rest of the house, getting more and more worried when he didn’t see any of the kids. He went to the kitchen as a last resort and found a note on the table.

Took the kids to the park

-Dick

Bruce stared at the paper in horror. No. This was bad. Jason, Cass, Tim and Damian did not get along well with other kids. This was a disaster waiting to happen.

He quickly rushed to the front door and was about to put his shoes on and run to the park when the door opened and the kids returned. Bruce eyed them suspiciously. 

No one was crying or visibly upset. In fact they all looked pretty happy. Maybe Bruce was underestimating his kids. They could be well behaved little angels when they wanted to be. Maybe he wasn’t naive in thinking that they could all go to the park and play with other kids without anyone suing him for traumatizing their kids. He got enough lawsuits from Damian’s school. But seriously, if their school’s security is faulty enough that a five year old could sneak a knife into school everyday then how good is the security really?

Maybe this meant his kids could be normal. Bruce wouldn’t even know how to handle normal kids. 

He looked at Tim. That kid was honest to a fault. “How was the park Tim?”

Tim lit up at the question. “It was fun.” he said softly.

“Really, what was so fun?” Bruce turned the question to Damian.

“If the police come by tell them we were here all morning.” the five year old said as he and Tim walked off.

Well that sounded ominous. He turned to Cass and raised and eyebrow.

“They can’t link the fire to us, we made sure of it and took care of any witnesses.” was all she said before walking off.

Bruce really didn’t like the sound of that. He could feel his illusions of a normal family shattering. He turned to Jason. “What happened.

“Nothing you can prove.” Jason told him seriously.

Bruce turned his gaze to Dick and growled at him. “What happened.”

Dick gave him a love sick look. “I took the kids to the park because Valerie Penton always goes on a jog there. She looked so hot today. She had this cute pink bra on and she noticed me” Dick told him. “It was amazing. She stopped for like half an hour to talk to me! She’s interested in all the things I’m interested in. Like classical music and ballroom dancing.” Bruce knew for a fact that Dick hated classical music and he had the worst case of two left feet. “And she likes my favorite foods too. She’s also vegan! I always wanted to be vegan,” the way Dick made love to his steak last night begged to differ.

Bruce cleared his throat. He need to get back on topic. “Your siblings, what did they do?”

Dick looked confused. “Oh, they were perfect and so cute. They didn’t even make a fuss when I told them we had to go even though we were only there for 30 minutes max.” he said.

Bruce sighed. Dick probably wasn’t even watching them.

Well. Jason did say they probably got away with whatever they did so Bruce could probably relax. 

“Did I mention that Val- she said I could call her Val by the way. Val dyed her hair red recently. It looks so good.” Dick babbled on. Bruce tuned his lovesick son out and pulled out his phone. The police hasn’t called yet.

The kids were alive and in one piece. 

Small miracles. Bruce shouldn’t question it. Was that irresponsible of him? Maybe. Then again, he did pay for the park.

Whiskey sounded nice right about now. He walked away from Dick (who was still taking about Valerie despite Bruce not being there) and headed to his office. The sound of footsteps and giggling echoed throughout the house. This was so much better than the silence.

He poured himself some whiskey and leaned back. He didn’t want to know what his kids kid. Ignorance was bliss after all.


End file.
